Dear friends,
I have long and often wondered what brings success in this world. It seems so many people struggle with finances, or relationships, or job satisfaction, or living arrangements, or (fill in your favorite challenge here). There are many things at play but I thought to share a couple that have been occurring to me recently.
The first is that the mind “schools”. You know how small fish tend to congregate in very large numbers? They do this when a bigger predator fish shows up. The little fishies all twist and turn in a large group and the bigger fish gets confused, not knowing which one to focus on. Sound familiar? There we are trying to deal with a complex situation and every aspect of the situation is swimming around in our minds, confusing and distracting us from what we actually need to do next. It seems like some effective people can multi-task, but in reality no one can. They just do a bunch of things in rapid succession focusing on one thing at a time quickly and effectively.
When you are driving your car to a neighboring city at night, how far can you see? Ten yards? Fifteen yards? Are you looking out 100 yards or more? (I hope not. If you are, warn me the next time you go anywhere so I can stay home!) One secret of success is to focus wholly on what is in front of you as your next task.
The other aspect that has occurred to me is poor planning. But getting caught by surprise is most often due to a certain human tendency: We tend to see the world the way we want it to be, not the way it is. We have a strong desire to have things “our” way. And when things are not the way we want, we simply see them that way anyway. “So there! Reality is not going to push me around!” Why else would it be that when we are doing something foolish or sure to fail, all our friends can see it, but we cannot? Why do we not have the same clarity they have? Why is it so easy to see how other parents should raise their children? Or so easy to see others' flaws and so hard to see our own?
It’s because we are personally and emotionally involved in the above named situations. This clouds our judgment and vision. To be able to step back and see with clear eyes is a quality that can be developed over time, and one that bears great fruit. We are responsible for many situations, but being responsible does not require us being deeply personally and emotionally involved. Dispassion (while still caring deeply) is attainable and much recommended. How to do that is a topic for next week's letter, however.
Blessings,
David G., manager
for the Gang at East West