It is remarkable how almost all of our problems and pain are self-created. The depths of this truth are deeper than one can go into in a single newsletter, but there is one aspect of this I’d like to share some thoughts on: expectations and hopes.
The world is simply what it is, but our minds can run wild with expectations and assumptions. Having a million dollars is great, but if the person with a million dollars had three million last year, he feels broke. If he had only ten thousand last year, he feels wealthy and has a spring in his step. So is having a million dollars good or not? Yogananda said that conditions are neutral. It is our reaction to those conditions that determine how we are doing.
A survey was done years ago where people with extremely varying income levels were asked how they were doing financially. Regardless of how much they were making, be it $25,000 a year or $500,000 a year, they almost all said, “If I were just making ten percent more, I’d be happy and satisfied.” Hmmmm…
I wrote last week about freedom. True freedom is being able to accept reality for what it is, and then, if it feels right, from that position of strength and freedom, working to make things better without expectations or fear of failure. A great saint said, “What comes of its own, let it come” and “Change not one whit of my personal circumstances; change only me.”
If we pin our hopes on how people treat us, what we want out of our future, or external conditions of any kind, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. It is not that we lower our expectations. It is that we live in the present and do not have expectations. One of my favorite phrases from India is, “The true yogi [yoga philosophy practitioner] is never surprised.”
Would that I myself were there, but I am not. But progress is directional, not absolute. I can say I am better at this than I used to be. I take the distance I still have to go as a reminder that continual unforced effort is needed and desirable, and not as an excuse to become discouraged or self-deprecating (but that is another letter... :-) )