...And Now the News: Part II
Dear friends,
Last week we talked about staying calm and centered while reading the news. Not easy these days, but well worth working at. After all, life tends to happen even when not on the front page, so working at staying more calm and peaceful amidst the storms of life will stand us in good stead even apart from the news.
But maintaining equanimity by closing the heart is not the answer. That being so, how does one stay in this world, aware of its flaws (of which there are many) and still keep an open and relaxed heart? Glad you asked...
There is an important difference between emotions and feelings.
Feeling is pure. Feeling is never about you. Compassion is not about you; service is not about you; empathy is not about you; love is not about you.
Emotion starts with a feeling and becomes about you, your desires, your needs, your fears. Anger, guilt, worry, frustration... are all about you. In fact, putting yourself aside enables more compassion, more love, more service, and so opens the heart because it is not focused on self-protection of any kind. This is why truly selfless service brings joy, whereas service out of guilt or the desire for people to like us, for example, does not quite do it.
Mom takes care of the infant when the baby is sick. Whatever it takes—she becomes SuperMom! Once the child has recovered, only then does she collapse. Her focus was entirely on the child with no thought of herself. Her heart was fully engaged, but without anger, resentment, etc. Later those emotions might well kick in.
If you saw a small boy struggling to stay afloat in a pond, how could you not want to help? The only reason you might not help is because you don't want to get wet, don't want to be late for your appointment, etc. That is, we become concerned about our own needs and wants rather than the boy's. Self-concern and emotion block service, empathy, and ultimately joy, and even love. "I love you when you are nice to me" is not real love.
Caretaking is another good example. We help an ailing friend or relative out of love and compassion. But after a while resentment might creep in. Suddenly it's about us. The pure heart feeling has turned into emotion.
Grief is a feeling. I mentioned last week that memorable song line "Why multiply grief with despair?" Despair is about us and our desperate desire for the world to be different, not only to help others, but more because we cannot stand watching the suffering anymore. Don't close the heart—try to expand beyond the little self.
Getting this right is not an easy task. So start small and watch how you deal with the world around you. I have always found that the less things are about me and my preferences and desires, the more I am able to serve selflessly, with more energy, clarity, and joy.
Blessings,
David G., manager
For the staff at East West