Reframing
Dear friends,
Probably most folks here have heard the word. It means to see a situation from a different angle. How is this done, why is it helpful, and how might we apply it to real life situations? Glad you asked… :-)
There are always two aspects to any situation: what is happening and how we feel about what is happening. Situations often cannot be changed—especially the ones we find particularly challenging. Ever notice that? But our reaction to situations can be changed, though that too can be hard. That's where reframing comes in.
I will share a current personal story. I deal with quite a number of complex financial situations (personal, for a large non-profit, for East West, for friends, etc.). Getting quality customer service can be difficult for a number of reasons. Because of the money involved, security is very high, which in turn creates multiple hoops to jump through; companies are keeping staff levels low (too low!) to maximize profits; the world has become so complex a customer service agent can hardly be expected to know everything; etc.
This results in a level of frustration for me: hoops I fail to jump through perfectly, questions that cannot be answered, incorrect information given to me, a need to explain the complexities multiple times after long holds, etc.
Here’s where reframing comes in. I was quite the video game player in my youth. Harkening back to that, I have started to view each interaction as a video game. When they wave away my question I think, “Well played.” When they give me incorrect information I think, “Oh I get it. This is a dodge to defeat me. Nice try, but I am on to you and can overcome this clever obstacle.” This makes the whole episode almost fun (almost!).
Note again that this is not about changing the situation. The understaffing, etc. is still there. It is about facing life with a smile rather than a scowl. Generally a scowl means we lose twice! Once because of the difficulties encountered, and again because our mood has become sour. But try as they may, they will not defeat me in the game of living a joyful life!
May we take what comes to us in stride. Grateful for blessings, and grateful for challenges that both strengthen us and test our equanimity in the cold light of day. Ultimate victory is achieved moment by moment.
Blessings,
David G., manager
For the staff at East West