Dear friends,
Humor is essential on the spiritual path. It shows an ability to step back and view the world (and oneself!) with amusement. Yogananda said we are here to learn lessons and for our entertainment. Hopefully this is not the lesson part (to learn, for example, to stop reading my letters) and is more the amusement part.
That said, I wanted to share a few lighthearted jokes in the New Year. This also will well establish something about my sense of humor. What exactly is established shall remain unnamed.
A minister was standing outside the Church after a Sunday Service. He was shaking hands and speaking briefly with each parishioner. One lady, however, grabbed his hand and would not let go. She went on and on about all her troubles. After a while he interrupted and said, “Ma’am. You must understand: I am in sales, not in management!”
A devout Buddhist had a birthday gathering, somewhat against his wishes. But his friends insisted, so he graciously consented to it. Even more troublesome for him was the thought that people would give him gifts. He was relieved to see that there was only a single large gift-wrapped box on the table. With some trepidation he opened the box, which proved to be entirely empty. He exclaimed, “Just what I always wanted. Nothing!”
We have a small plaque for sale in the store, “Dear Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulders and your hand firmly over my mouth. Amen.”
A clairvoyant man who stood only five feet two inches tall found himself in prison. Being very clever, he was able to break out in short order. The newspaper headline the next day read: “Small Medium at Large.”
A man kept sending his guru emails with photos he had taken himself, but the holy man never received them. I guess he really was free from attachments!
A 70-year-old woman gets hit by a car while crossing the street. It is serious and as she is in the hospital she sees a great white light and starts towards it. But a voice says, “It is not your time to go. In fact, you will live to 85 years old.” When she awakes and is unhappy with looking older she figures,”Heck. If I am going to live that long there’s a few things I want to do about my appearance.” She does the works: tummy tuck, facelift, weight loss, hair extensions, etc. As she is leaving her final cosmetic appointment she gets hit by a car and dies. When she gets to heaven she says to God, “You told me I had 15 years left. What gives?!” God replied, “I am so sorry. I didn't recognize you.”
And now just to be sure I cross the line at least once [I can tell this joke by pedigree.]: In the Jewish religion a fetus is not viable until it graduates from medical school. :-)
Blessings,
David G., manager
For the Gang at East West