Why Do We Hold Our Breath Hoping Things Will Go Away?
Dear friends,
On its face, hoping something unpleasant will go away on its own seems perfectly natural. And it is. Unfortunately, it is also perfectly natural to experience aches and pains. However, if we work out and eat well, we can often do better than “perfectly natural.”
Does that mean you “should” work out and eat well? No! Only if you want to maximize the chance you will be healthy. Similarly, none of the “moral” laws of spirituality have to do with “should.” They have to do with cause and effect, just like the cause and effect at play with our bodies.
“It is better to give than receive” is not because God will smite you otherwise! It is not because society will frown upon you. It is not because a wise man said it. It is because we ourselves will be happier when we are generous rather than self-absorbed with our own possessions and desires.
I have always been amused at the thought, “Watch out for number one!” meaning yourself. It is a guaranteed way to be unhappy. In fact, it is actually impossible to be unhappy when serving others in a selfless way. That is why it always feels great to help someone else. It is likewise happiness-destroying to think about what you need that you don’t have, what you have that you may lose, and what you ought to have gotten but didn’t.
The spiritual laws are not about punishment or judgment. They are laws of physics. If you touch a hot stove and burn yourself it is not because Spirit is mad at you, nor because the world is poorly designed. It is because you have done something damaging according to the laws of physics. The spiritual admonitions are no different. In fact, it is a blessing that it hurts when we touch a hot stove, because if it didn't hurt we’d have badly burned and damaged ourselves repeatedly over the years.
When something difficult comes up, Spirit is trying to tell us something. [I will say here that this is almost impossible to accept this in extremely trying or even horrific circumstances. It is true even then, but almost impossible to see. Given that, I will stay focused on the 99% of things we seek to avoid simply because we prefer things to be otherwise, lest we get caught in a powerful eddy that does not have day-to-day application for most people.]
Spirit is not unkind. It seeks to get our attention by tapping us on the shoulder. Then, if need be, it graduates to a small shove. Then eventually, a hit with a 2 by 4, at which point we talk about how rough the world is, wonder what we ever could have done to "deserve" what we are facing, and how Spirit can be so unkind or uncaring.
This is a game we cannot fail out of. The only way out is through graduation. It is not easy, but far better to develop an attitude of appreciation when things come up that are hard for us. It is the only way to learn. And if we do not learn from what is presented, we just have to come back and try again. Avoidance is not the best plan.
There will always be things that are too hard for us to embrace, but let us focus on those where we are able. Let us not focus on the ten barbells in the gym that are too heavy for us to lift. Let’s instead find the ones we can lift and get to work. Over time, as our strength builds, weights that previously seemed insurmountable can eventually be lifted.
May we take each thing that comes to us as the gift it truly is. With gratitude and perseverance. And may we focus on the areas where we can do this and not be discouraged in areas that are too challenging. For they too will be conquered in time.
Blessings,
David G, manager
For the gang at East West