Dear friends,
I have noticed that most of us humans are quite sensitive to criticism. (Animals may be as well, but none have told me, so…) I wanted to explore why that might be, as well as suggest some attitudes to hold to draw the best out of circumstances.
The first question to ask is: why are we upset or put off by the critical comment or email? But perhaps the more important question is whether it is true or not. I remember a story my teacher wrote about. He was an American living abroad as a child. At one point a group of boys taunted him calling him a dirty Englishman! He thought, "Well, I am not dirty because I just showered, and yes, I am an Englishman. So?” What a wonderfully impersonal way to look at it.
Too, much of the sting is because we hold an image of ourselves as flawless. We know in our minds that we of course are not. But in our hearts we so want to be better than we are, that when our actual reality is pointed out it is usually unpleasant. I’d like to share one of my favorite lines from the Mahabharata (of which the Bhagavad Gita is just a tiny, tiny part): Yudisthira, the main “good guy,” is asked, “What is the greatest wonder in the world?” He replies, “That everywhere every day people are touched by death, but each man lives his life as if he were immortal.”
The analogy here is perhaps clear. Each of us knows we have flaws but when one is pointed out we immediately feel, "Not me!” Knowing that we have flaws, a better response might be, in our hearts, to feel “Thank you for pointing it out” because without seeing it, how can we work on it?
If you were about to park in a tow-away zone and someone pointed it out, you’d be quite grateful. Well, I’m afraid our consciousness parks in such zones many times a day. Bless those who criticize you. It gives us each a chance to take what comes with a calm and centered heart. And who knows… they may even be suggesting the next step in your own evolution!
Blessings,
David G., manager
for the Gang at East West